Eliza Hemingway

Author & Artist

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My Writing

Sling-Backs
Ketty throws a farewell party for her dead parents who were lost at sea and invites the whole town. The only person to arrive is a tall good-looking stranger with a secret.
Lipstick
Margaret leaves her phone number in lipstick on a serviette for Blaise, a computer software salesman. When he phones her his life jump starts out of complacency into spying and trips to China.
Nude On A Fence
A collection of short stories. "Each story was so different and enthralling I couldn't wait to read the next one. Eliza kept me hooked until the end."Janet Loxton, literary consultant, England
How To Murder A Naked Woman
An Introduction to Writing Autobiographical anecdotes with useful information on how to get into the writing and publishing business.
How The Lion Swallowed The Moon
"A delightful little book of bedtime stories. You won't be able to put it down once you start reading."Margaret Hinchliffe, literary consultant, England.
The Butcher's Dog
The Russian Revolution is in full swing when ten year old Mikhail loses his family and has to take to the road to get away from the guns. He feels that the death-marchers he walks with are doomed so breaks away from their line to look for shelter.

Literary Works

FICTION:

A novel, AMATIVE EFFECTS OF BRONZE BOARS, 2016

KISSED ON A BOAT, Edited by Eliza. A collection of short stories by the Cowichan Valley writers, 2009

SLING-BACKS, a coffee book (Canada: Arts Angels Publishing, 2006)

LIPSTICK, a coffee book (Canada: Arts Angels Publishing, 2006)

NUDE ON A FENCE, a collection of short stories. (Canada: Arts Angels Publishing, 2006. Winning Finalist, Best Books in America Award, 2007)

HOW THE LION SWALLOWED THE MOON a collection of short stories (Canada: Arts Angels Publishing, 2003)

THE BUTCHER'S DOG, an historical novella based in fact (Canada: Arts Angels Publishing, 2002)

OVERBOARD, a book of poetry (Canada: Maggie Dove 1998)

Non-fiction:

NEXT TIME YOU'RE DEAD. The get in and get out method of writing. This is very small book about how to write better short contemporary fiction in order to attract the attention of publishers.

HOW TO MURDER A NAKED WOMAN, an autobiography about writing (Canada: Arts Angels Publishing, 2004)

MAIZY'S SCARF, an autobiography (Canada: Sono Nis Press 1979)

NURSES, autobiographical cartoon book (England: Smith’s Publishers)

Short stories:

NEXT TIME YOU'RE DEAD, Pub. Ten Old Books 2009

JUNGLE TEA (England: Pub. Tonto Press, 2006)

HOW MY GRAN GOT HER MOUNTIE (2nd place winner in Canadian Writer’s Journal Competition, 2005)

COUGAR MOON (First place winner in Carillon Magazine’s short story competition, 2004)

WOO KISS (Pub. Green’s Magazine, 2004)

HOUSE CALLS (Pub. Author’s Publishing)

Other:

DRAGON OR SNAKE, an essay on St. George (England: Pub. Carillon Magazine, 2004)

I write mostly literary fiction and mostly books of short stories. Some of the stories include experiences gained from world travel. My short stories show ordinary people in unusual circumstances. Many of the stories have humor. Others have pathos. We all enjoy a cry once in a while. I write mostly in the present time and mostly, at this moment in my life about the unsophisticated people of Vancouver Island. I distrust historical fiction. A present day writer could not possibly know the facts of ancient Egypt; these writers were not there. According to researchers, Cleopatra was in her seventies when she met a young Mark Anthony, and she had arthritis of the spine, which would have made love making impossible.

Police know they cannot trust the information given by an eyewitness. Ask seven people who were present at an accident what they saw and they will present you with seven different accounts. Source books are constantly translated back and forth from one language to another. Facts become legends. Hollywood directors have a saying: When facts become legends, print the legends. That kind of philosophy leaves everyone living in fairyland.

In Yorkshire, England a few miles from where I was born, evidence exists of a rather unimportant thief, one the authorities called Robin Hood (Robbing Hood because he robbed people and wore a woolen hood over his face to cover his identity). He lived for only a short time. Scarborough, a seaside town in Yorkshire has a bay called Robin Hood Bay. Robin probably did not keep company with a young woman under the greenwood trees. (Have you noticed how much make-up Maid Marion wears in the old movie about Robin Hood? Make-up? Really? And they lived in a forest! And Maid Marion is always beautiful.) The makers of that movie have obviously never been to Yorkshire. The English weather would have finished Robin if the sheriff had not nabbed him first. He most likely never robbed the rich to give to the poor; accounts written about him show he was much too mean and nasty to do that. Records state he was a rather unpleasant man, all around. He most likely never saw Sherwood Forest. He would have had no way to get there, except by Shank's Pony (his own legs). He would never have had enough money to buy a horse. If he had walked the highways or the low-ways a sheriff would have picked him up before he reached the Yorkshire boundaries. A person would have been visible for miles on the Yorkshire moors, and there is no place to run and hide except under the belly of a sheep. Records show a similar man died as a relatively unknown small-time and rather unpleasant crook. The legend makes him sound much more romantic than do the facts. A writer of the time probably took the name from the city records and made up a romantic tale.